if you grew up around the stl area, bah bah-bah bah bah buh-bah bah....

craving some homestyle kitsch, i searched the old wehrenburg theater theme song. thanks to some guy, all the flooded memories of first date's past have come back to haunt me.

enjoy:

national geographic: shark versus octopus

1:40 is when the real action begins:

i <3 shark week!!!

i wish english was my second language

scrabulous' lesser known, less sexy cousin has arrived

this is why i get news feeds. this morning, my crusty little eyes spied "scrabulous" in the article titles in my igoogle news feed. the article is titled "Hasbro's Nightmare: Scrabulous Returns With New Name And (A Few) New Rules". it looks different, but is strangely familiar. in essence, "wordscraper" is a first cousin of scrabulous, with a slightly different look and slightly different rules, but you know they're family, whether hasbro would like to admit it or not. and, they're different enough now to not get all lawyery. that probably won't stop hasbro, who really should be trying to play nice with their less sexy cousin, but at least this means more game play for us and will bring facebooks daily unique audience back up again.

guitar hero is like a defibrillator for aerosmith sales

as reported from yahoo.com, which got its news from rollingstone.com, sales from the most recent guitar hero: aerosmith has generated greater profits than the band's last album.

from rollingstone.com, the album "sold over 567,000 copies in its first week, grossing more than $25 million, at $50 a game. In contrast, the band's last studio album, 2004's Honkin' on Bobo, sold 160,500 copies in its first week, grossing about $2 million."

sidebar: rumors have started that Metallica will be the next band to be honored with a dedicated guitar hero

LINK about guitar hero: aerosmith from Wikipedia.org

from icanhasforce.com

icanhasforce.com, it's what you imagine it is

entertaining for the everyday star wars fans that like their star wars a little cheeky.

Mandalorian Dance
by PatrickBoivin

for the futurama loyal

thanks, jeff!

dvd talk with the futurama crew LINK

ugh, i keep finding worse and worse star wars tattos

staying along the same theme

so, finding that image made me think, "i wonder what kind of 'star wars' tatoos there are out there." wonder no longer. for more, LINK

random entertaining image 7.28.08

"the last lecture"

as reported from AOL:
"Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon University computer scientist whose "last lecture" about facing terminal cancer became an Internet sensation and a best-selling book, has died. He was 47."
update: so, i actually just watched the whole thing through, which i hadn't done when i posted it. it is a long video, i know. but, it's the only youtube video that has really made me think and reflect on life, and i feel good that there are educators and people like this.

spanish "artist" projects his man "power" onto buildings....for art...

as reported from gizmodo.com (which reported from metro.co.uk): spanish artist Jaime del Val walks around madrid wearing a car battery and projector and nothing else. what is the "art" part of this story? he projects his peen onto surrounding buildings and refers to his peen as "power."

ok, i just realized how this posting relates to the last posting. on that note, you know what kathleen, men are just super. who wants to see an 10 ft. peen? kathleen does.

the newest trend in oppression: men

just read an article from jezebel.com about a book written by Kathleen Parker that addresses the oppression of men in american society.

her book, Save the Males, in a nutshell: the current culture is all about man-hate. society thinks men are pretty useless because:

• women are going off and bogarting all the parenting through single parenthood
  
• education has been reformed to make women happy over the past 20 years


• men are seen as criminals in family court


• being a man doesn't automatically make you honorable anymore


• they aren't women (if men aren't like us in the way they act, look, smell, etc., they are evil

now, i've hated my share of men in my time, but i think my hate is equal to my dislike of most people. my hatred knows no gender, color, religion, creed, etc. not only that, but i have a hard time thinking society* was asking for pete wentz or his large investments in urban decay cosmetics. society* definitely isn't asking to be knocked up and taken on maury povich. society* thinks Kim Basinger is just as bad a parent as Alec Baldwin. and being masculine makes you masculine, not honorable. hell, jason voorhees from friday the 13th was masculine, but "honorable" is not an adjective i'd apply to him.

is this because i made my husband wear spanx and a garter belt at our wedding? because that was TOTALLY his choice, not mine.

ugh. i think if she wants her husband or sons (she has two and that's how she got on this "stop hating men" crusade) to stop stretching out her bloomers, she should really just leave a post-it, buy some lumberjack gear, every movie sylvester stallone has made (including "stop or my mom will shoot") and call it a day.

P.S. she thinks people will have unfair assumptions about her book but "Once people actually read the book, they're surprised to see all the dots; once they connect them, they want to move Thailand." can anyone explain that to me? i mean, i love thailand, but what about burma, or even india? nepal?

*society=i/me

from boing boing

bad names are fun

as reported from BBC news, a new zealand judge made a 9yr old a ward of the court so that she can change the name she hated, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. that was what her parents named her. seriously.

these kiwi's are so incapable of giving their kids names that don't suck that the government actually has to step in.

examples of government blocked names: Yeah Detroit; Stallion; Twisty Poi; Keenan Got Lucy; Sex Fruit; Fat Boy; Cinderella Beauty Blossom; Fish and Chips (twins)

examples of allowed names: Violence; Number 16 Bus Shelter; Midnight Chardonnay; Benson and Hedges (twins)

i'm all for originality, but while my husband and i decide what to name our future children, i'm automatically ruling things out, such as, "Please Beat Me Up", "Yo Mama So Fat", "Give Me All Your Crack", "Milk Eggs Bacon And Butter", "The Doctor Called At Three Fifteen And Its Not Chlamydia" and "Future Porn Star".

good thing he's an american.

my first mixwit: me tired

testing mobile bloggy blogging blog

Global Overpopulation Brain Snack

from Suite101:

In 1 second: 5 babies born
2 people die
Increase of 3 humans every second.
In the same second, 1.5 acres of rainforest get cut down.
This is 250,000 people per day. Every four days a new Dallas or Detroit is added to the earth.

from Overpopulation.org:

The world population is predicted to reach the seven billion mark on Oct 18, 2012. World population hit the six billion mark in June 1999, over 3.5 times the population at the beginning of the 20th century and roughly double its size in 1960. The time for the global population to grow from 5 billion to 6 billion, a dozen years, was shorter than the interval between any of the previous billions. The population today is nearly four times the number in 1900. Behind that increase is a vast gulf in birth and death rates around the world. February 25, 2006 Indo-Asian News Service

Oct 98: The world is adding a city the size of Los Angeles every two weeks.

People.com: R.I.P. Estelle Getty

estelle getty, the woman who came into our hearts as the tiny, old wise-cracking sicilian sophia, has passed away at the age of 84, reports People.com

From Golden Girls:
Sophia: I found my lucky handkerchief.
Rose: Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.
Rose: What was it doing in your bra?
Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose!

she will be missed.

thanks, jh!

oooh, ghost of jim henson. please keep them coming!

Comic Nurse Blog: Presidential Fun Facts

From Comic Nurse Blog:

• MADISON - shortest president (5' 4") but first president to wear long pants.


• ADAMS - first president photographed, had a pet alligator at the White House, swam naked in the Potomac daily, spent 17 years in Congress after his presidency.


• TYLER - first promoted vice-president (was playing marbles when he found out he was president,) first widowed in office, most kids of any president (15) Pets: horse named The General, dog named LeBeau, bird named Johhny Ty.


• *LINCOLN - first president to be (successfully) shot, first bearded president. Pets: goats named Nano and Nanko, dog named Jib, cat Bob and bird Jack.


• GARFIELD - Alexander Graham Bell came to Garfield's sickbed to try to locate an assassin's bullet in his back with a magnet. It didn't work. Could write with both hands at the same time. Could read when he was three. Only president who was a preacher. Had a dog named Veto.


• HARDING - first president to leave the country while in office, his wife burned his papers after his death. Biggest feet, a size 14.


• TRUMAN - middle initial stands for nothing due to his parents not being able to agree on his middle name. Met his wife at the age of 6 in Sunday School.


• CARTER - first president born in a hospital
  

there are many more facts that i didn't include, but i highly suggest you visit the site and learn more. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

beaker's ode to joy: the best youtube clip i've seen in a while

it started with nutella, and ended with vomitting in my mouth

so, i was going to tell you about how i feel like a small french child this morning, with my coffee and toast with nutella. this led me to search for a picture of a french child to really drive that whole message home. while i imagined waves up on waves of small white kids with curly mustaches, berets, striped shirts, some baguettes and possibly a cigarette, what i found was a disturbingly creepy child's french maid costume.

here's what's creepy about it: this is a costume generally reserved for college girls going to "pimps and ho's" parties or middle aged women that want their husband to still think they're sexual objects. now, if the title said, "boy's french maid costume," it might be a little different. maybe it would be a funny costume for 12 year old boys that are comfortable with their sexuality or maybe it would be a poignant statement of how young boys that wore this costume feel about the portrayal of women in their role as servant within our society, but that's not what the image is selling to me.

and, well, and let's not forget the underlying creepiness of the costume and remember why the general public is horrified with the objectifying "hobby" of child beauty pageants. the fishnet stockings went a couple levels too far...

because women generally have great self esteem

well, i'm not usually too sensitive about my looks since i've already resigned myself to being a slightly thinner and female version of james earl jones, but i'm not sure what to think of this product that was featured in a daily candy email. my initial impulse was to laugh, but then i immediately curled up in the fetal position under my desk and asked god if i was put on this earth to scare small children and young men (both have a tendancy to cry in my pressence). thanks, daily candy!
Link to "Ugly Bag - Female"

martha stewarts approval rating went up

when i saw her blog and especially when i found out she has two mini-donks:
http://blogs1.marthastewart.com/martha/

human's that hate cats find this video humorous

what do you think they're doing to this cat:

how they made bread in the 80's (thanks, quinn)

moon passing the earth from 31 million miles away

thanks, jeff!

i LOVE cuteoverload.com. really

LINK

how do you convince people you're not gay?

Al Reynolds, Star Jone's ex-husband, has posted a youtube video to explain to the public that just because you dress nice, you might not be gay. you just might be southern.....

other things about Al Reynolds:

• educating and motivating makes al reynolds want to giggle
• being referred to as "light skinned" in the south makes al reynolds want to giggle
• people thinking he's gay has deeply effected him professionally and personally...and doesn't make him want to giggle, but i can't say his "stern" face is all that intimidating
• al reynolds thinks posting a youtube video talking to what reminds me of a serial marry-er that preys on your men at bars and who just discovered coffee about how not-gay he is will help give him more credit in the eyes of the public
• al reynolds has a doctorate and that trumps any rumor that he's gay
• al reynolds REALLY, REALLY doesn't want you to think he's gay.

another reason he's not gay: he's disabled the embed and comments sections on his youtube video.

um, al? i'll believe you're southern, but i can't buy anything else you're trying to sell me. not to mention, regardless of your sexual orientation, you are just creepy. gay has nothing to do with it.

my advice: act super straight, but try to convince everyone you're gay. i prefer my al reynolds gay.

"I'm not gay. I'm southern" video

for the record: love gays, love straights, love mintorities, love the south, love doctorates. CHAI-YOH!

on babies.

my biggest problem right now it that i have baby fever and i don't even know how to stop it. i'm sure the boozing helps, but everytime i see a picture of a baby, my brain forces me to stop whatever i'm doing and cradle my dog while i make up songs using his name (tito).

i need to remember that right now is great for all the things i can do/continue doing that involve not being pregnant or being completely childless:

• travel: i need to go to Thailand and eat street food


• travel: i need to go back to sonoma, drink wine, and have bachelorette party II: we have no babies


• inhale chunks of blue cheese and raw fish sushi


• eat random food, no questions asked


• regularly drink beer, and the occasional shot


• sleep on my stomach


• sleep through the night


• buy clothes/shoes/handbags that i have no intention of ever using


• learn how to do the trapeze with amy


• not have pain or scarring in/around my gentle zone


• get in street fights


• curse like a drunken sailor


• get home when i feel like it


• sleep in


• eat all the cake in the house


• drink coffee like its beauty/brains tonic


• pretend to want to go on a diet


• play xbox/wii and not have to let anyone else play (except jeff, occassionally)


• quit my job (whatever job i have at that moment)

the scary thing is, i know these things and i still have baby fever.

writing this has just made me decide that i will do at least one anti-baby fever activity per day that i'm not with child. if you read this and think of anything i missed, let me know. xo

i actually think this way

me: sawyer, am i a know it all?
sawyer: [pause and puzzled]
me: nevermind. i know.

terminator salvation trailer (premiere 5/22/09)

alex p. keaton does not approve

from people magazine: brian bonsall, the little season saver from family ties, has been violated his probation by pouring booze on his girlfriend, then roughing her up. what do we dooo, baby? with ourr lovveee?

why i need a hamster

more from geekologie

kid climbing into a claw machine:

http://view.break.com/536276 - Watch more free videos

that's a true friend that made this cake

Geeokologie: Tom Selleck Cake. a friend made this for another friend, with love, obviously. i need more friends that have some cake decorating skills.

from "This Shit is Crazy" (link below)

Link

how much do i enjoy hotchickswithdouchebags.com?

i really hope they are only temporarily taking the vids down

for the MOVIE!

can't find the originals, but this is still badass

in case you were wondering

cat's tongues are kinda gross.

Paying respects to Juanita Storck

my babysitter (from 20 years ago) passed away this past weekend.

Juanita Storck was a wonderful soft-spoken, gentle woman, who wanted nothing more than her families happiness. other things that made her a wonderful person:

• she would watch me before afternoon kindergarten class and make sandwiches for me (bologna and miracle whip)
• taught me how to make twine eggs for easter
• would hold me when i'd fall off my bike and start crying
• would let me stay over and watch Moonlighting with her daughters
• would make the best lemonade in the neighborhood and would let me sell it in her driveway
• would take me with her to her mothers, where i would get to eat 28-35 pieces of hard candy and caramels
• she would let me try on some of her clip on earrings
• taught me that you can clean dentures with regular bar soap

there's a million other things that made you a wonderful mother, grandmother, and caregiver, Juanita. you will be greatly missed.

there's no place like home

as reported by the belleville news democrat website: belleville has a socks bandit. that is a man who breaks into people's homes, skip on down to their laundry rooms, and steals women's socks.

me: i wonder if he's just part of a larger conglomerate that is anti-footwear.
myself: yeah, but he isn't stealing shoes, dingus. he's just a sicko with a thing for goldtoes.
me: peeew, you know his shoes gotta smell like play-doh and vinegar if he is anti-sock, though.
myself: that's gross. i'm done talking to you now.
me: are we still on for lunch?
myself: check in with me at 11:45. i may have a meeting.
me: way to make a committment and stick to it.
myself: just shut up already.

i needed content to keep adding to my blog

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
over over over rated. it read like a combination of R.L. Stein and Judy Blume. i admit that i got into it, but always at arm's length.


View all my reviews.

good reads told me to post my review. who am i to say no?

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
i can't say it was the most compelling/entertaining book i've read, but imagine if you went out for drinks with someone and they're telling you about a really embarassing situation. that's this book. it has humor, humanity, and straight up-edness about it.


View all my reviews.

an email forwarded to me at work (from a pioneer press blog)

"In this economy, everyone wants a deal.

Parasole, the company behind multiple restaurants including the swanky Manny’s Steakhouse in Minneapolis, is no exception. Below is an excerpt from an e-mail that was forwarded to me. It contained a letter sent by Parasole to the Villager community newspaper regarding advertising the company's new Salut on Grand Avenue in St. Paul.

I’m also including the Villager’s response. Publisher Michael Mischke says he was so taken aback by the Parasole’s chutzpah, it took him three days to respond. And then they didn’t get the irony.

“Apparently it went over the rep’s head,” says Mischke, when I called to confirm that the e-mail exchange was for real.

Excerpt from Parasole's e-mail to the Villager community newspaper: We appreciate recognition as a 1st time advertiser in the publication (e.g. I'll commit to a 1/9 page advertisement however we'd like it at the 1/18 page rate). In return for the pricing Salut/Parasole will make a long term commitment e.g. (one advertisement per month for a 24 month period) for this price. We also would like a guarantee of spot color included with that pricing. We need your help on determining which is the most well read issue of the month. We also want a guarantee that we'll always be a right hand read above the fold preferably again with your help on selecting the most desirable location (we don't want to be grouped with other restaurants). Do you have dining section in the publication? Or I'd like to be placed opposite a well read column in the paper for example. I believe the addition of a Parasole restaurant will bring other restaurant advertisers to the publication. Would you send a comp copy to us also.

Villager publisher Michael Mischke’s response: I appreciate recognition as a first-time diner at Salut (e.g., I'll commit to eating dinner, however, I'd like it at half price). In return for that menu pricing, I'll make a long-term commitment (e.g.,one dinner a month for 24 months) for that price, whether or not your menu prices increase during that period. I'd also like dessert included with that pricing. I also want a guarantee that I'll be seated at a window, as far from the kitchen as possible. (And I don't want to have to be seated next to any unattractive or overly loud people.) I believe the addition of a Villager publisher will bring other diners to your restaurant. Would you send a comp dinner mint to me monthly as well? "

who's ready to set the women's movement back?

a recent post from craiglist.org is from a mother of two that is looking for a man that will take on her house...and her.

"Create the Magic with this Fairy Tale Princess Lost Princess & home in immediate need of a Prince Charming, someone who wants to share & create magical moments, imaginations & fantasies for LIFE!!! If you want to live the never ending dream and experience the real love, life and the romance you have always felt was a fairytale then this is the vibrant outstanding woman of your dreams! To sweep this Europe Loving Lady off her feet send in your qualifications right now PROPERTY INFORMATION

Gated 24 hour manned community,Lush landscaping throughout the community & a newly updated clubhouse that offers swimming pools, hot tub, 4 tennis courts, 2 racket ball courts, sand volleyball court,children's playground and a fitness center with brand new equipment,& more! It's like living in a five star resort. This Dakotah model has a great room with vaulted ceilings and many windows that bring the outside in. This well maintained , impeccably clean home has neutral colors, Berber carpet, and upgraded tile. The 1ST floor master suite has a double entry door & a master bath with double sinks, a soaking tub & an over sized shower stall. There is also a 1st floor Powder room. The second floor loft/media room overlooks the great room and leads to the 3 full size bedrooms, full bathroom. An extended terrace overlooks the garden. This is a fantastic buy, in a great location. "

there are so many ways this is wrong.

"Terminator Salvation", in theaters summer 2009

so, there will be a new terminator movie scheduled to release in 2009. christian bale will be playing John Connor, and there are currently rumors that Josh Brolin will be playing a terminator.

the description off imdb.com doesn't really help me feel one way or another about it, but i love me some christian bale. let's hope he can get the pink mole removed in his trip to the future. :)

faith in humanity, somewhat restored

so, today, i've been facing some internal struggles with my faith in humanity, the purpose of it all, and everything that comes with that line of thinking. there has been bad news locally and even closer to home that have had me wallowing in a pool of concern for the state of humanity and even children that husband and i would bring into the mix.

knowing that the world isn't entirely full of rapists and murders, i tried to force feed myself heaping spoonfuls of light news stories: new affordable laptops being developed, Wal-Mart being forced to pay Minneosta employees for repeated labor law abuses, high school kids enthusiastic about the possibility of donating blood...these are all somewhat uplifting, or potentially distractable news articles, but they weren't helping.

what did help is reading one of my favorite blogs, Boing Boing, which has a recent post called "Where the Hell is Matt: a silly dance in 42 countries that will make you grin like a fool".

the post/video isn't groundbreaking, but it gives me that sense that the world is a much smaller, cozier place than it usually seems. all of our neighbors, whether they're three apartments below us or three thousand miles away, enjoy watching a silly dance and joining in sometimes. the smiles of so many different people of different cultures and languages really forced me to smile and all thanks to 42 countries and probably over a thousand people I'll never meet.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.