donnie darko sequel plot is revealed

apparently its about a young female dancer trying to make a name for herself in the fiercely competitive world of las vegas exotic dancing. ice cubes and kyle macclaughlan's lust glare will fly as you become entranced with the struggles, dedication and sexy cold ambition of Nomi Malone.

the above is the synopsis i am assuming based on the recent casting of Elizabeth Berkley and some chick from "Step Up 2 the Streets." i'm also assuming there will be lots of nudity, bad acting and an nc-17 rating.

biology is cute/disgusting/cool

wasn't sure what form i should post this in, but this link follows the pre-natal development of a chicken from embryo to fluffy cuddlebug. i think this is pretty cool, but i can't imagine everyone would agree with me.

what ravers do when they're 40...

flavor tripping is the newest, rated-g experience for people that are sick of their beef roasts not tasting like cherry laffy taffy. a berry indiginous to west africa has led to the creation of "flavor tripping" parties in nyc and sf. for $15 admission, each person is handed a berry. the berry temporarily numbs your bitter and sour taste buds so everything tastes sweet. the effects last a couple of hours, and the aged hipsters may find themselves bored after spending 3 hours eating lemons and tobasco sauce.

apparently, raw oysters with lemons taste like chewing gum, tobasco tastes like donut glazing, and guinness tastes like a chocolate milkshake after chewing on the west african delight (that itself tastes like a bitter cranberry, according to those interviewed in the ny times article). the expensive berries are about $2.50 each and are very perishable. so, my minneapolis flavor parties will just include donut glaze, chewing gum, and chocolate milkshakes.
[link to the article]

major league 4: Pearl of the Cobra

nauddie

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING: HARRY POTTER PREQUEL

as reported from people.com:

"Within the past month, J.K. Rowling has written a prequel to Harry Potter. And the succinct, 800-word story, written in the author's own hand, will be auctioned off for charity in London on June 10. (The tale is so shrouded in secrecy, it’s not even clear if the boy wizard makes an appearance.) Proceeds will go to the writers' association English PEN and to Dyslexia Action. Fans – who have gone almost a whole year since Rowling's last installment, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – will be able to read the prequel for themselves when it's published by Waterstone's in August. In her sign-off to the story (written on a piece of paper not much bigger than a postcard), Rowling said, "That was fun!" "

evil dead, the musical. yes. the musical

so, some canadians got together and said, "ya know waht wood be great, yeah. a meoosical aboot "evil dead?"
yes, 80's camp horror movie starring the incomparable Bruce Campbell.
yes, a musical.
thought you should know.

to watch one of the songs being performed: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QrDui7xeGv0

[link to the musical's homepage]

this is bob barker asking to do your part to help control the pet population

oh, peta...

oregano just gives it a little something that says, "is that jihad?"

wash your common sense, and leave it in the pantry so its ready for you to use when you need it.

as reported by adage.com today, "Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an online ad starring Rachael Ray after conservative bloggers suggested the scarf she wore in the ad looked like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men that some associate with jihad. "

now, the dress i wore to work today could look like a maternity dress or mumu, but i promise i don't represent preggers or hawaiians. of course, i'm not knowledgeable in the current fashion trends or terrorist or any particpant in a holy war, but i personally don't see rachel ray as a believable arab man.

then again, my boots look a little space cowboy-ish, but that's because i am a space cowboy.
Watch out! she's got like 3 doomsday devices!

someone's bday is coming up! who wants ice cream and egg salad?

my good chum has pointed me in the direction of this very, very odd cake. this is no "silly foreigners don't understand what kind of food is weird in the United States" cake. this is a "i really want a cake that i can eat as lunch and not feel guilty" cake. here's the description from Lunds & Byerly's website,
"Sandwich Loaves

Frosted with cream cheese, our sandwich loaf is layered with white and wheat bread, one layer of egg salad and two layers of chicken, tuna or ham salad. Decorated with rosebuds in your choice of color. Serves 12 – 15."

ummm. yeah....

third arm...hayoooo (this is actually a more creepy/sad story)

a microchip was "painlessly" installed into the monkey's brain, giving the monkey the amazing power of slowly and "painlessly" controlling a pneumatic arm. shiver me timbers!

the trailer that made me want to read the book

i survived the 90's for this?

e! online has announced, donna martin is back and “own one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills.” the zip code of 90210 does not have enough sharpie cleavage magic to make that character interesting or likeable, but something tells me the ghost of aaron spelling may have drop kicked the heads of some special needs executives. more of my "bitter much?" ranting. :)

in soviet russia, copyright infringes you.

bloomberg reported a couple days ago that russia has dropped all charges against allofmp3.com. what i've learned from reading is that the u.s. recording industry was threatening denying russia's inclusion in the world trade organization, but they had insufficient evidence to charge allofmp3.com with copyright infringement. yay!

tito's got a piece of keagan's heart.

it's still beating

wii fit: the perfect balance of barely moving and doing mundane things

a classic

i'll take the drive-by special with extra fire sauce

In Butler, Missouri, Max Motor auto dealer owner Mark Muller remind me of why my parents came to America:

"We're just damn glad to live in a free country where you can have a gun if you want to."

he's so damn glad, he's practically GIVING these guns away (with purchase of a car from his dealership). of course, you could go with door #2 (a $250 gas card), but why would you. apparently, he's really giving people what they want. sales for his dealership have quadrupled and every buyer, with the exception of a canadian [insert random gay lumberjack joke here] and an old guy [insert McCain joke here], has gone with the firearms.

per the bbc article i got this information from: "He [car selling trail-blazer Mark Muller] recommends a Kel-Tec .380 pistol, which he describes as "a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket".

yes, world, all those horrible things you believe about americans is true. i'm actually typing this out with various firearms attached to each finger. i recommend the browning 9x19mm hi-power for full dexterity of your thumbs, and derringers for the pinkies.

[link to bbc article]

heartless germans strike again!

i don't really have anything against german's, but they are generally a good country to pick on. sort of like the guy that always hangs around, but nobody really likes or dislikes him.

From BBCnews.com:
German police seize 'eBay baby'

Authorities in Bavaria, southern Germany, have taken a seven-month-old boy into care after his parents offered him for sale on eBay "as a joke".

The unnamed child was advertised as a "nearly-new baby" with a starting price of one euro (£0.80, $1.6).

Police have launched an investigation into possible child-trafficking by the infant's father, 24, and mother, 23.

The mother told a German newspaper: "It was only a joke. I just wanted to see if someone would make an offer."

Speaking to Bild, she said she was also being made to undergo psychiatric tests.

unrequited doggie love

tito <3 's california

Guitar Hero makes rock band generic again

this doesn't make me want to buy this:

Ford Aerostar + this product=best prom ever

the autoloc flame thrower will transform any autozone parking lot into a potentially hazardous hair metal show. with a flamethrowing unit mounted on the rear of any vehicle and with the capability to control the flamethrower with a wireless remote control, the convenience, practicality and necessity of this product sells itself.

an air conditioned shirt: for the sweaty beast in your life

can't give enough praise to japan trend shop. now, i'm in the know and ready to send my disposal income to a foreign economy. YATTA!

i needs: facebank

pick the $$$ when its ripe and eat it. this may be the $44 best toy i've seen in a while. the bank eats money. not sure if it poops it out later, but let's focus on the eating...[link]

drink tap water, suckah!

Why Tap Water? (from http://www.tappening.com/)

• Why would you want to pay more for a product whose quality is worse than the water that flows from the faucet in your home? More than 99.9 percent of Americans live in homes where unlimited amounts of fresh, treated water is available...so turn on the tap!


• Tap water contains chlorination which kills bacteria Water systems that provide tap water have to test for water pathogens that can cause intestinal problems, bottled water companies don't do this


• City tap water can have no confirmed E.coli or fecal coliform bacteria. FDA bottled water rules include no such prohibition (a certain amount of any type of coliform bacteria is allowed in bottled water)


• City tap water, from surface water, must be filtered and disinfected. In contrast, there are no federal filtration or disinfection requirements for bottled water.


• Drinking tap water not only supports mental and physical health, but is easy on the planet. People who buy bottled water are doing harm to the environment and acting out of ignorance


• In one publicized taste test in New York City, conducted by Showtime television, researchers found that 75% of participants actually preferred the taste of tap water to bottled water


• Most cities using surface water have had to test for Cryptosporidium or Giardia, two common water pathogens, that can cause diarrhea and other intestinal problems, yet bottled water companies do not have to do this.


• City tap water must meet standards for certain important toxic or cancer-causing chemicals, such as phthalate (a chemical that can leach from plastic, including plastic bottles); some in the industry persuaded FDA to exempt bottled water from the regulations regarding these chemicals.


• City water systems must issue annual "right to know" reports, telling consumers what is in their water. Bottlers successfully killed a "right to know" requirement for bottled water.


• Tap water is the best water available; according to the New York State Department of Health and the Environmental Protection Agency, there is nothing harmful in tap water
  For those who feel tap water is any less clean than bottled water, filters may be purchased; buying filter cartridges once or twice a year requires much fewer resources than buying bottled water each day
  

no regrets

click on the link to head to radarmagazine.com's gallery of really lame tattoos. no matter where you are on the totem pole, this will make you feel better about yourself. [Link] its time to party

damn millenials and the boomer's disappointment of gen x

here's an interesting article that has me all defensive of a generation that sometimes, but not always, includes me. it covers the media's assault on generation x (calling them unoriginal, unmotivated, un-etc) and their high praise of millenials that are essentially experiencing the benefits of being the youngest in the family as it relates to the workplace. if you like being annoyed by magazine writer's detached and scathing opinions of generation x, read on

birdplaneman

norveegan firefighters savin badge

badger badger badger i love cuteoverload.com badger badger badger

how do you fail a driving test?

minnesota state driving questions i missed:
when making a turn you should:

• a: turn your signal towards turn direction 3 miles in advance
  
• b: place a call to your grandchildren
• c: accelerate and do not signal to ensure oncoming traffic is paying attention
• d: stop the car immediately to decide if you really want to turn

when driving on an interstate highway in minnesota, you should ensure that you are doing the following:

• a: calling your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to decide who get's the lava lamp and cement blocks that your trans-am is resting on
  
• b: focus on the conversation you are having with the people in your car, as to not be rude
• c: looking at billboards by the highway (it costs money for those companies to advertise!)
• d: all of the above

your seat belt almost always should be worn, with what exception(s):

• a: it doesn't match your outfit
• b: it's uncomfortable b/c you've had too much alcohol to drink
• c: it prevents you from talking on your cell phone
• d: any/all of the above

once i failed, they made me put on an obama mask and beat me with lutefisk. then, they farted on my illinois driver's license and handed it back. sometimes, i hate minnesota.
*UPDATE: its a new day and 97%, bee-yotches! i done made myself an official minnesotan

old news: samsung instinct v. iphone

i know. old stuff, but still interesting. we'll see how good it is when it actually comes out.

new x-files trailer 5/12/08

song stuck in my head, 2:34pm 5/12/08

i love love and cuteoverload

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/05/panda-loooooooo.html

i've decided to be anti-animal cruelty as of this moment:

moar funny pictures

evil latte

more cat pictures

tito says: don't pee on the toilet seat. other people have to sit there

nintendo half time show

i needs

[Link]

my asian senses are tingling

this site has several variations on different cartoons versioned in anime. [link]

also, who likes calvin and hobbes?

every simpson's couch scene

chris carter: compliments of http://anntao.blogspot.com/

stormy: marvo's vermin of the week, 5/7/08

Stormy will need spayed upon adoption and wishes she was as cool as tito.
[link]

song stuck in head, 5/6/08 1:17pm

no one should be allowed to have a ball that big

the politics of pre-school

Conan O-Brien GTA

1974 all over again

my sweetness has introduced me a wolfgangsvault.com
archived recordings of some bitchin concerts from the likes of david bowie, led zeppelin, jimi hendrix, cream/eric clapton, u2, genesis....
this doesn't truly take me back, but it helps me remember some key matthew mcconaughey moments from the 90's.

the wayback maching: internet archive

great site that will take you back to archived versions of websites, including Target, Wal-Mart, Yahoo and whatever url you can remember from the time. here's what Yahoo looked like on January 17, 1999:
[Link]

50 Greatest Commercial Parodies

a collection of some commercial parodies from SNL, MadTV, The State, etc. i feel like they're missing some, and they're not actually the greatest, but they've got a couple for your viewing pleasure:
[Link]

Xerox develops 100x re-usable paper

pretty self-explanatory, but another company has found an interesting way to reuse sheets of paper with printer ink that disappears after 24 hours due to exposure to ultra-violet light. bravo, xerox. hey, charmin, take notes!
[Link]

Song stuck in head, 5/2/08 3:22pm

cameo, word up

facebook in real life

just a short bit on facebook actions in real life [Link]

Conan O'Brien's toned down GTA

pegatron rumors xbox+blu ray

new rumors a taiwanese news source is claiming pegatron technologies has recently received an order to build an affordable blu ray capable xbox 360. i grow tired of talk and am ready for action!
the lies say it will be coming out for the holiday ridiculousness.

SUMMER MOVIES SUMMER MOVIES SUMMER MOVIES

firstshowing.net's official summer movie guide 2008 [Link]

findheman.com

just fantastic, out of principle.

you know how every big city has that person that everyone recognizes on the street, but doesn't really know? like pot brownie lady in Chicago, or the Naked Cowboy in NYC. Well, this guy is known as "He-Man", and he's just like you and me, except he walks around NYC doing normal things without his shirt on, and it appears he works out. and he's a guy. the site is dedicated to his sightings.

Link

so cute, i want to sit on it

thank you, geekologie.com for showing me how to hug sheep with my keister.

(the link goes to on online european retailer that makes bicycle seat covers that look like animal heads).

montreal nerd explanation: 2 years later

so, a couple years ago, when jeff and my love was new, we took our first vacation together to montreal. while riding our bikes up the scenic hills, we saw what appeared to be about 100 mostly male nerds between the ages of 8-45, yielding long wrapping paper tubes and wearing what looked like looped tshirts with the sides cut off and buckets for helmets. they appeared to be having some sort of war, but of course, there could be no winner in this war.
looking around iwatchstuff.com, there's apparently a documentary on these folks, and what they were doing was acting out role playing games. so, imagine a 31 yr old nerd saying, "i want to be a third level wizard", then dressing up, and then someone else validating the fact that he
is in face a third level wizard.
anyhoo, i got great excitement out of this because it had always been a mystery. i get that they were nerds with wrapping paper tubes, but they had a purpose and a dream, that i will never truly understand.

my love, jeff, has found actual video footage of the montreal nerd in action (the most action they'll ever get! HEYOOO!! am i right? am i right?).

Meet the Michael Vick Resue Dogs

thedailypuppy.com brings the heartwrenching/warming stories of the dogs that were confiscated from Michael Vick's dog fighting farm. painful and uplifting all in one!

the song in my head at 8:22AM, 5/1/08

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEART THAT CAN ONLY BE FILLED
BY YOU

Link to the epic music video

and ever wonder what happened to Gary Cherone after he filled the hole in his heart that can only be filled by you?

My job is to spread evil. I have so much, I can't contain it all.