dnc makes me tearingly cynical

hearing the speeches makes me happy b/c i want to think people are the way that they're speaking of. i didn't know much about biden, but he seems like a great guy. here's the problem: when someone is telling me how great and shiny this pile of free diamonds are, i start to think that they're probably diamondium. i can't help it.

oh, i'll still vote democratic in november. if anything, all this does is make me get my cynical spidey senses going for the rnc.

pass me another coors light. it was kickball night.

i'm sick of women hating women in the workplace

now, i can say that i've probably had more office conflict with women than i have with men. it usually isn't pretty. but, lately, i've been noticing more and more female co-workers (mostly past) mentioning that they wish they worked with and for more men. i have a problem with this, not because they think men are easier to work with, but because i think they don't realize that it's not just about gender. men have the same thoughts or emotions, but they might have a tendency to handle them differently than women. i'm not going to make any serious generalizations here, but i do want you to think more about what it means to care about the gender of your co-workers, superiors, subordinates, interns, the janitor...

what i've started concluding is that:

• the root of the majority of conflict i've faced with female co-workers has been based on feeling threatened, either myself feeling threatened or sensing that my sparring partner is feeling threatened
• this manifests itself as bad-mouthing (creating a team of "haters"), regularly speaking in contrary (for the sake of being contrary or trying to imply incompetence), speaking condescendingly, and just trying to make each other look bad (spoken or unspoken methods)
• resolution is near impossible, because the outcome is usually not ideal for both parties
  
• you still have to work together, you know you don't get along (or at least one of you knows), tattling doesn't work (unless there's a serious concern regarding incompetence or negligence), or one of you has to quit (and its hard to explain while you're interviewing that you really liked your old job, but that bitch just wouldn't let up)
  
• here's where the lightbulb hit as i was staring out the car window coming home from work the other day: men feel threatened too, you just can't tell.
  

think about it. times when you might be able to remember a man feeling threatened:

• you introduced him to your successful and athletic ex-boyfriend (or ex-girlfriend, then he really wonders what you're doing with him)
  
• he brags about how good he is at something and you either beat him at that (poker/soccer/mortal kombat) or your successful, athletic ex-boyfriend beats him at it
• you can bench more than him
• there is one spot left on the rec league flag football team and you're up against a guy who played quarterback at Notre Dame
  
• etc, etc, etc

the point is, these are very normal circumstances which you may even feel insecure or threatened. most likely, that man felt insecure and threatened. he probably didn't really talk about it, though. he probably didn't stop a co-workers desk and say, "ugh, he's just a beast. can we go get a beer and bitch about it?" but he might have thought it. he may have even thought, "at least i'm not an overweight, bitter spinster that no one will ever love. haha." but he kept it to himself.

so, at least in my own mind, men are just as catty and insecure and bitter and threatened, they just don't feel compelled to make that public knowledge. and, while i don't enjoy having my co-workers know that i'm feeling threatened or insecure, i wear my heart on my sleeve. my tells are obvious and many, and that's probably been one of my biggest weaknesses, especially in working with women i didn't get along with.

i don't think my glaring emotions will stop, but i can try to stop myself and think how each of the my actions and what i say effects people's perceptions of me and my work (including my work ethic, attitude, etc.). i can stop and think about how bitching and moaning about someone i think is dragging us down might make just look whiny or bitter or emotional. my old boss said, "Brian's [our boss] perception is our reality." man, was that a hard pill to swallow.

one more note: if the person really is a worthless slag, everyone (qualified) knows it, so they don't need you to point it out.

good night, and good luck.

best youtube video EVER (thanks, boingboing.net)

love thyself

if you want to see a 867k pictures of people loving themselves (not in a dirty way), go to flickr.com and search "self-portrait." while there are a handful of more original "artists," i get the sinking feeling that some of these people love looking at themselves more than air hockey or water balloons (which is nearly impossible).

instead of taking a picture of myself, i offer you the crust on my soon to be former work computer keyboard. it was this way since day 1. :)

rock star's pay $2500 to party like a rock star at playboy

a chad i know and i were discussing parties at the playboy mansion and this turned into discovering that you can purchase tix to playboy mansion parties off of stubhub.com. the best part is the dress code.

party is on aug 30, so get your tix fast!

LINK

radar magazine: worst guerrrilla marketing of 2008

love the article. basically, it's a big f-you to marketers/agencies that decided that they should do something "viral". i think this is something every client/creative should at least think about.
article LINK

aaaamazing water tricks: mesmerizing stuff

to spain: I LOVE CAKE (little britain)

spanish basketball team: asian racism hilarious, horrifying, and sad

on gawker.com: there's an article about the Spanish olympic basketball team justifying their jesture of love to their beijing opponents. when a photographer took the team's picture, the photographer asked the team to give a loving "wink" to their beijing opponents, which the team decided was pulling the corners of their eyes out to make an "oriental expression."

of course, china's been waiting for some sort of apology, but the Spanish basketball team member Jose Calderon, who's also in the NBA, thinks the european media are blowing this way out of proportion and misinterpreting their love gesture. spanish newspapers, in the meantime, are reported to be defending their nations team by pointing out that they've donated money to africa.

spain, i don't know what to tell you. i'm kind of really disappointed. of course, i think it's hilarious that you think a racist gesture is loving. well, hilarious, horrifying and sad.

• hilarious: it's something you would expect a 4 year old to do on "Kids Say the Darnest Things"
  
• horrifying: because if you're the parent of that kid, you don't want anyone to think you taught them that and, as that parent, you would want to make sure your kids knew better
  
• sad: it's not a basketball team of 4 year olds.

LINK

note: i know the there are people that believe racism is an over-exaggerated, over-publicized, over-sensitive subject, but please keep in mind, it's even more hurtful when someone makes physical or cultural [ignorant] jokes and believes that asians should not be offended because it doesn't mean there's any ill will. here's the thing: sure it implies ill will. when you tell me that my people are weird looking, talk funny, eat crazy sh!t, pray to a funny fat man, etc., you're telling us that there's something wrong with us. you don't need to tell me i'm different from the people around me.

and you don't tease people about what you think is right with them, usually. it's not effective to call my supermodely friends "gorgeous" to tease them in a loving way. it's much more effective to call them "tubbo," and it makes me feel better about myself. see. that's how its done.

90210 - Tori Spelling = best decision made by a tv exec, post aaron spelling (RIP)

due to disputes over pay, tori spelling will no longer be included in the newest cast of 90210. shocked? not really. but now my excitement about seeing the new spinoff can resume without hesitation. brandon walsh, you are now free to mystify me again with your wisdom beyond your years and minnesota sensibilities in a plastic, bronzed, tucked, sex-crazed high school world. WOO HOO!

ALSO: just realized no more stories of a victimized donna martin and lame ass songs a la Ray Pruit.

little girl singing in olympic opening ceremonies not much of a singer

not to say the little girl that was sang during the olympics openings ceremonies wasn't cute, but it turns out she was lipsynching. apparently, the actual singer, Yang Peiyi, was deemed "chubby" and has the jacked up grill of a 7 year old, because she's a 7 year old.

i love cuteness, but this is sad. Peiyi IS cute, but i guess she isn't what the opening ceremony committee thought was chinese image material. the girl that was shown singing is a 9 year old that has been in various advertisements.

can't a regular girl with some talent catch a break? i mean, i've always understood all these natural tendencies people have towards attractive people (babies like them more, they are able to succeed in the workplace/businesses because people trust them more, etc.), but apparently, this also means that because of their attractive appearance they should gain the credit and admiration of those around them even for the things that they don't even do. remember c+c music factory? (see music video's section: LINK)

and those of us that resemble the cartoon character Cathy and not Jessica Rabbit, we have to settle for waiting for social security age to be cast opposite estelle getty and betty white to be in showbusiness. sure, Kathy Bates has done ok, playing a psychotic, fanatical, book-obsessed exile, but is that our only option? if we have great personalities and the ability to make 45 year old housewives consider the possibility of homosexual experimentation, we could be talk-show hosts, that's another potential avenue to take. but, let's be honest, those lines of employment aren't the biggest growth industries. oprah owns 85% of the market share.

LINK to olympics article

inappropriate, but pretty funny

it's a halloween costume that is both funny and inappropriate. do not view at work.
LINK

another along the same lines.
Another LINK

children that will be scarred for their parent's poor judgement
OUCH LINK

i'll wait for halloween to post more.

did i sell out, or did i never have the chance?

so, as i'm in a short stretch of not work, i've had time to reflect upon my past, present and future. much of this thought has been critical and probably off-focus, but it's made me ponder if i've become a big, fat sell-out, or if i've even generated enough mega-fonzies to ever be cool. see that right there? that's a reference to futurama, one of the best 30-minute television program ever created. one point for me.

past: spent majority of my life trying to figure out what i wanted to be. this means a whole lot of trial and error, embarassment, insecurity, and anxiety. and i've been also overwhelmingly obnoxious and loud for no apparent reasons. i put trust in anyone and everyone, and i was always willing to go cross-country so a friend could visit some girl or help people move into a new apt. i was that girl who would challenge anyone in the bar to a drinking contest and barely make it home. i like baseball and football, but i'd argue about stuff that i don't really know what i'm talking about (i still do that to an extent). and i was against the general concept of authority, but knew what i had to do to keep moving forward. i liked to think of myself as punk-chic, but my knowledge of music is far inferior in comparison to the majority of my friends. i listened to what i liked, wore what i liked, and practiced projectile word vomit at every turn. despite i went through more awkward years than most, i still feel like i was a decent kid. annoying, but decent. heroes: matt groening, tori amos, dance hall crashers, fishbone, sarah connor, daryll hannah, julia roberts, winona ryder (didn't love her, but wanted to be her), madeleine albright, mustard plug, operation ivy, dropkick murphy's, my brother.

present: still not confident what i want to be, but happy to be wife and doggie/kitty mom. less trial and error. spend more time watching simpson's on dvr than breaking a sweat. only embarassed about who i used to want to be. i spend more on my hair than i do on music (partially b/c i have excellent sources for streaming music). i don't go to bars as much as i used to. i care about all 4 food groups being represented on my plate, and on my husband's plate. i have the money to finally travel, and i use it for a mortgage. i don't feel like i'm moving forward. i don't dream about what i'm going to be doing in the future anymore because i figure it's just going to be the same crap as everyone else. the best i can hope for now is being a "cool mom" someday and claire huxtable is my role model (lawyer/mom/sexy wife).
note: all i've ever worked on is women's/mom's brands (advertising), and the words on why still ring clear from one of my former boss,' "you're so close to the target audience." at 24, single in chicago, i certainly didn't feel like a mother of 0-12 year olds, but my employer's have certainly thought so. basically, i'm blaming them for my claire huxtable envy.

so, why was i cool before? i think it's because the sky was the limit. i could do almost anything, and i had so much faith in everyone around me. mistakes were small and over as soon as you wanted them to be.

what's changed? deadline's, biological clocks, lessons learned, salary increases, personal debt, competition/gossip in the workplace, preparation (for everything), the elevation as family as a priority, heartbreak, doggie diarrhea, annual reviews, capital gains (whatever that means), recounts, credit cards, corner bistros, matrimony...

so, future, you know what would be great? not worrying all the time about what's practical. i think if i can get away from basing ALL decisions on their level of practicallity and logic, i will be just fine.

the future is my future

what i learned from wikipedia today: Belly Button

"The navel (also called an umbilicus or, colloquially, belly button) is a scar on the abdomen, caused when the umbilical cord is removed from a newborn baby. All placental mammals have a navel. While it is fairly conspicuous in humans, in most mammals it appears only as a thin hairless line."

gross...except on christian bale.

link

no beer and no tv make homer go something something

2008 fall season premiere DVR line-up (the ones that get a minimum of 3 "richard milhous stabones"):

• Tuesday, September 2 90210 - "There's a new class at West Beverly Hills High..."

• Monday, September 8 Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - "This season a mother will become a warrior, a son will become a hero, and their only ally will be a friend from the future"


• Tuesday, September 9 Fringe - "What if the world was someone's personal science experiment?"


• Tuesday, September 16 House - "Genius has side effects."


• Monday, September 22 Heroes - "Save the Cheerleader. Save the World."


• Thursday, September 25 Ugly Betty - "Ugly is the new beautiful."


• Wednesday, October 1 Pushing Daisies - "life. death. and life again."

from geekologie.com: norweigan telemegaphone

howwww awesome. there's a telemegaphone at the top of Bergskletten mountain in norway. basically, you just call-in and your receiver is fed into a megaphone on the mountain.

geekologie.com LINK
(photo from unswornindustries.com: Magnus Torstensson)

for poops and giggles

NBA Mascot Bloopers 2008

in honor of the california wine country..

i don't know wine, but i know what does the job. another movie i'm looking forward to:


gotta love alan rickman and a good story.

i want to drink vodka lemonade and listen to this mixwit playlist

god/buddah/allah/vishnu/tito, the other day, you asked me what i want...

1) i want a billion more wishes
2) a phatty bumbalatty paycheck (with taxes paid already so i won't be evasing taxes, like ed mcmahon)
3) a puppy rescue farm ("puppy" being the universal term for dogs of all ages that are in shelters and need homes)
4) a healthy, happy, bouncing morgan freeman

p.s. in case you are reading, #5 is to also have healthy, happy babies when my hub and i are ready. not yet, but we'll keep you posted.

p.s.s. and health/happiness/wealth to all those people we love. you know the ones

p.s.s.s. how cool is it that the ultimate master of the universe reads my blog?

UPDATE: looks like he just has some broken bones and he's at the Elvis Presley Memorial Trauma Center according to e!online. THANKS, DUDE/LADY!~

ok...so...do you...maybe...not..maybe...we could go to a movie

ok, so, micheal cera is the king of awkward youth. he is what john cusack was for sensitive, musically rebellious, trench-coat-wearing, awkward youth of the 80's (and said adjectives for young, commitment fearing, but not a player 90's men). you know there is so much emotion and that this guy will never be capable of communicating, until he puts it so concisely in the last 5 minutes of the movie, and you know that everything will be ok. it's so repetitive, and formulaic, BUT that doesn't stop you from watching the next movie because he soooooo deserves to get the girl...

that said, i'm looking forward to this new one with michael cera.

if they're uggo's in a magazine, they're probably 10x more uggo than you realize

you know, i don't think i'm quite the looker, but nothing makes me realize this more than magazine covers and movie posters.
and, i know there's airbrushing and photoshop involved, but i guess i never realized how fake those pictures are. to see gif's of before/after's of some well-known hollywood talent, click here to go to celebrities.ninemsn.com.au to see some fine examples of women (AND men!) change their looks before your eyes (and sometimes even eye color).

to see a photo-juiced andy roddick, click-through to TMZ.com here