as hot as christian bale is, i really hate that damn mole

more lame stores from the future. next up, robot worker unions

cnet reports that a zappos.com warehouse in Kentucky now employs robots to fill online orders. once an order is placed, the robots are notified, they locate and grab the ordered inventory and bring them to an awaiting human who boxes and mails out the order. apparently robots aren't mail savvy, but at least they won't waste time with things like procreating and emotion. silly humans.

LINK to Cnet article

how am i supposed to get the newest strand of influenza now?

bankrupt sharper image may be down, but its not out. sharper image will live on as a brand and continue to hock neck massagers, robot vacuums and all that other overpriced crap that only wanna-be rich folk buy.

hey, store fronts, you know what i'm going to miss most about you? when i'm fluffing a NASA developed $300 pillow and it doesn't have random grey/black/brown stains on it.

NY slave owner states she was "brought to this earth to help people who are in need."

a really messed up NY couple has been charged in a case that sits in the gray area between slavery and fraternity hazing. the couple has been holding 2 Indonesian women captive to clean their large house. the women have been forced to not only clean, but take many physical abuses, such as umbrella/broom beatings, knife slashings and forcibly eating...stuff people don't generally like to eat. the couple had confiscated the women's passports and their situation was discovered when one of the women was found wandering the streets in pants and a towel.

not only are these two amazingly horrible examples of humanity, but the obvously morally absent wife in the couple describes herself as "brought to this earth to help people who are in need."

sentencing is on friday.

LINK to BBC article

germany represents the future of grocery shopping

i'm as confused as you are, but there is a new futuristic prototyped grocery store in germany where you can pick up a can of crisco, wave your mobile in front of a radio wave reader, then pay with your fingerprint (or credit card, cash or debit, but fingerprint seemed more "the grocery store of tomorrow" feeling).

also, randomly, "working" at the store, there's a very lame robot named roger (not the most germanic sounding name) that looks like he belongs on a lame 90's "science is cool" saturday morning show. apparently, he's the equivalent of that 87 year old creepy Wal-Mart greeter.

apparently today, i'm big on quotes.
LINK to BBC article

yeah, i've been too lazy

well, not only that, but some guy in vietnam stole my credit card numbers and was trying to buy anti-viral software (IRONY ALERT). that and he was also trying to buy "a pair". if you want my money, have the cajones to look me in the eye and wave some sort of cutting device around.

in reference to the lame news that has been puttering around, all i got is i hope shaq and kobe can get past all this and make out already.

the news sucks lately.

you don't need him. the next time kevin wants to leave the band

you needed to know this exists

have we really run out of things to do with our hair/clothes/sense of style? well, here's a hairstyle that says, "i like to make friends and influence people," and "mating season is here!"

from what i can tell from the site, this is japanese:

[japanese hair hat site]

[link from blog source]

pharmacraptacular!

a clinical research group, cedra, has a great sense of humor about their industry. they're newest campaign lets you "develop" your own drug with advertising. i recommend playing with it [link]

Evan Henry is here!!!

Congrats to Carrie and Matt on the newest member of the Miller and Spezzano famlilies. We love you!

olympic mascots are lame

not sure why the olympics need a mascot, but one thing is for sure: they're usually look like crap. they're comparable to the weird stuffed animal you see in the crane game and decide to try to grab with the claw because you have no idea what its supposed to be. is it a crab? is it a bear? is it a crab bear?

walk down olympics mascot history with me, will you?

"long-running debates about straight bananas and cucumbers. "

from the bbc news website: the EU wants to begin selling wonky fruit with the rest of the "straight" fruit. currently, markets only sell fruits that have a designated, appropriate shape, but the eu may begin selling wonky fruit with labeling for cooking purposes. there are aobut 26 fruits/vegetables that will be able to be sold wonkily (among them carrots, beans, onions, melons and plums). shape standards will still be in place for apples, grapes and a bunch of other food you don't care about. :)

noah sad, but understands if you can't adopt him

anti-advertising advertisements

an organization called the "anti-advertising agency" is offering free "you don't need this" stickers so that you can stick it (get it?) to marketers.

now, while i work in advertising, i can't say that i appreciate advertising in every form or execution. a great example is an outdoor billboard i saw in Chicago near Cabrini Green (goverment housing projects) for stella artois that read, "Perfection has its price." there are obviously a gazillion things wrong with how this advertisement was executed. but, i do believe, to a certain extent, that it is a necessary evil.

• i love ugly betty, top chef, and re-runs of x-files. if those shows were not supported with advertising and placement, it would just be...well, it wouldn't be. could there be locally grown or self/government funded tv productions? well, yes. but then it'd all be...mr. rogers, the electric company, kids incorporated, and yan can cook. quality, but does not exactly give me the escape i'm looking for in HD.



• i love the interweb, for all the obvious reasons. and, it wouldn't exist without the marketing budgets of your macys, targets, and huggies of the world



• some advertisements are entertaining. i'm not talking about the financial planning talking baby or the 70% of bud light commercials that really suck. i'm talking about hearing zach braff's voice for the loveable cottonelle puppy, or the noid, or the "batman: the dark knight" previews, or "need to get away" southwest airlines commercials. they're funny or bring me some sort of positive feeling, and i'm ok with that.



• sometimes, i want to know about stuff/products. i AM looking for a new shampoo, or new sneakers or the best place to find a used car. i'm not saying i need EVERYTHING that's advertised, but maybe i am in the market for something and the ad will help start that product research phase.
  

so, before you go out there and make sure the world knows you don't think they NEED a pizza from dominos (gross, right?), take a second to think about what the subway fares would look like if it wasn't there, or if someone was thinking to themselves, "my god i want an extra large pizza to come to my door" what would happen to them.

not only that, but remember that you're smart enough to make the decision about what YOU need in your life.

you can tell me that i don't need the next futurama dvd that's coming out in a couple months, but you don't know that.

reasons to vote republican

gotta love cusack's HEAT

Cell phones radiation levels

From Cnet:
"For a phone to pass FCC certification, that phone's maximum SAR level must be less than 1.6W/kg (watts per kilogram). In Europe, the level is capped at 2W/kg while Canada allows a maximum of 1.6W/kg. The SAR level listed in our charts represents the highest SAR level with the phone next to the ear as tested by the FCC. Keep in mind that it is possible for the SAR level to vary between different transmission bands and that different testing bodies can obtain different results. Also, it's possible for results to vary between different editions of the same phone (such as a handset that's offered by multiple carriers)."

Ten highest-radiation cell phones (United States)
Editor's note: When a phone is discontinued by a manufacturer or a carrier, it will be removed from this chart.

Manufacturer and model SAR level(digital)
1 Motorola V195s 1.6
2 Motorola Slvr L6 1.58
3 Motorola Slvr L2 1.54
4 Motorola W385 1.54
5 RIM BlackBerry Curve 8330 (Sprint) 1.54
6 RIM BlackBerry Curve 8330 (Verizon Wireless) 1.54
7 Motorola Deluxe ic902 1.53
8 T-Mobile Shadow (HTC) 1.53
9 Motorola i335 1.53
10 Samsung Sync SGH-C417 1.51

Link

WALDO IS BACK: FIND HIM!

From Brandweek.com:
"Where's Waldo? On Social Nets Like Everyone Else
June 08, 2008

By Kenneth Hein

Waldo has been spotted online. The famous children's book character, who turns 21 this year, is targeting college-aged kids with a series of viral campaigns.

This week, Canyoufindwaldo.com will prompt fans to "join the search" online. User-generated content kits will allow users to create their own Waldo avatar and place themselves in a crowd (among other activities). The site will add an online shop this summer.

Waldo, who is on MySpace, Bebo and Facebook, also will appear on Twitter this week. "Waldo's Great Online Photo Hunt" launched at Flickr last week and a geocaching, scavenger hunt game will debut this summer.

"We're building the Waldo online eco-system," said Nicole Blake, svp-marketing at Classic Media/Entertainment Rights, New York.

The strategy is to reengage twentysomethings with the character they loved growing up. Once their interest is peaked they can buy a flurry of new licensed goods.

New partners announced this week are: Local Celebrity (T-shirts), Elope (Halloween costumes), USA-opoloy (puzzles and games) and BioWorld (accessories including hats and bags later this year). Waldo will appear on travel gear, stationery and college dorm room décor as Blake looks for new licensing partners. Also, the Where's Waldo: The Ultimate Travel Collection (Candlewick Press) hits stores June 10.

An offshoot of targeting young adults, rather than children, is to make the products aspirational for younger brothers and sisters who may not be familiar with Waldo. Once introduced, they will be primed for a new TV series coming in 2010. "We want to make him relevant for the next generation," said Blake.

John Rash, director of media analysis at Campbell Mithun, Minneapolis, said the Web is "the appropriate communications tool for those just hitting their first wave of nostalgia. But I'm uncertain if it will lead to purchase behavior."

The Waldo franchise has been lucrative to date. At 46 million books sold, Waldo is the second best-selling book series behind Harry Potter."

mikey, boner must be rolling over in his grave...

minneapolis craigslist: if you've seen this dog, please, check its diaper.

"Lost dog - 5 years old name is "Lucky" male yorkie last seen in the St. Paul Park are by Willie's Marina - color is white /beige wearing a BABY DIAPER please contact Nori 651-768-7643 or Dawn 651-726-4706 "

btw, they poster decided to put "baby diaper" in all caps.

[link]

vermin of the week: f-you piranhas

from craigslist:

"who ever keeps flagging my post FU CK YOU!!! DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO ??? ILL KEEP POSTING THIS TILL ITS RE-HOMED... IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM FCKIN CALL ME...

hi there, i have an Irritans piranha for re-home. this piranha is so mean it will chase your finger trying to bite you through the glass ! ( email for videos ) it will eat infront of you soon as the food or gold fish hits the water. this fish is nothing like a red brest piranha that is scared or skiddish. i paid fifty dollars in shipping alone to get this fish over a year ago. need 125. for a re home fee. you will never see this type of piranha in your local fish store. notice the high dorsel fin, this is not a black prianha, its an Irritans Piranha and its super rare to see one of these in the average home aquarium. "

[Link]

as follow up, winnie says

or you can click on this link where winnie really shows off her toned up, scantilly-clad brain

now if only we could pee standing up

my summary of an article from theeconomist.com:

a global study conducted in 2003 suggests that girls aren't inherently predisposed to not understand math. where the mathematics comprehension gaps between boys and girls were most evident were in countries where women are not treated as equals to men. so, the worse you treat your women, the more she'll shop beyond your means. HEYOOOO!

in countries where women are treated more equally to men, such as Norway or Sweden, girls math skills were on par with boys.

while girls are not given the greatest opportunities to soar in many countries, girls were still more skilled than boys at reading. based on my personal research, this is based on the fact that the human male species have a genetic predisposition to have attention deficit defects, which apply to reading, listening, and taking out the garbage. ZING! i'm on a roll.

the article then points to the logical conclusion that once women are treated equally to men, we will officially be deemed superior worldwide and hillary clinton will rest in peace. her and that susan b. anthony.

get your m.b.a. for only $20 million, taking classes optional

the president of west virginia university will not be the president as of september. it isn't easy to see if this is by choice, but it follows the heated controversy of the awarding of an m.b.a. to the governer's daughter, though she did not have enough credits to be applicable. the company that employs the governor's daughter is a huge contributor to her father's campaigns in 2003 and to the wvu.
also, good to note that it seems the university didn't really want the guy to be president anyways (there was disagreement during the appointment and the faculty has tried to oust him twice before).
[link]

i want to see this, but i'm not sure why:

china allowing parents of children lost in quake to reproduce

mostly, i thought this article was surreal. the childbearing policies in China dictate that urban residents may produce one child, and more rural residents of China may have two children. in light of the lives lost by the recent earthquake, the Chinese government has decided to allow parents that have faced a decrease in their children allowance can receive assistance to replace their lost child. this includes assistance with in-vitro fertilization.

while it feels very foreign to me the idea of limiting the number of children a family may generate, it is estimated that the policy has prevented 400m births. with a potential energy crisis and fears of overpopulation further down the horizon, i can't say that it hasn't made me think.

[link]

"chubby ankles and pro-abstinence stance are not compatible"

not sure if you've seen them, but kmart's piper & blue junior's clothing line has come out with abstinence sweat pants, which sounds great. they don't scream, "my flower is long gone," or "stop wondering if i'm legal." instead, they proclaim, "true love waits." of course, those not raise in a judeo-christian household may wonder what it waits for. the bus? stylish, but sensible abstinence shoes? i can't say for sure, but i can say that i love this product review from an abstinence sweatpants purchaser:
""i got these because i think the message is great and also the colors are great too but the elastic ankle cuffs are a little too small. now im worried that my chubby ankles and pro-abstinence stance are not compatible. would recommend to a friend that had smaller ankles, and also was not allergic to the yellow dye."
[Link]

oh, mccain...

lies keep Alzheimer's patients off the streets

from telegraph.co.uk: a nursing home in germany has figured out how to keep the elderly patients with Alzheimers from running away. pure trickery.

they created a bus stop replica outside the building, so, if 89-yr old greta slips away, the sight of the bus stop will "remind" her that she should wait for the bus to take her home. all the while, the nursing home staff wait for their opportunity to walk by, let greta know that her bus is going to be late today, and offer her to come into the nursing home for coffee.

there are many emotions that come to mind. some of them are sad, but some of them are funny.

tis brrrrr.

the recession hurts everyone.

i want this guy to be my new best friend

i'm not big on words or news today, folks. strictly random pictures i find.

sweetest jumpkick

there are no words to express how this makes me feel.

teamwork is for losers

corporate life is a kick in the...lower abdomen

Everyday but national or for chrsitian holidays.

tom cruise predicts the future

so, remember that creepy feeling you got when you watched "minority report" and the gap asked tom cruise if he wanted to try on size whatever pants based on scanning his black market eyeballs? we are now one step closer to those black market eyeballs, drugs in small single dose inhalers, and drugged up bald, very, very white people that can predict the future.

companies have developed outdoor advertising that has tiny cameras placed in it. the cameras read characterstics of the person standing in front, such as face shape and height, to determine their general age group and gender. from there, the billboard digitally serves the "appropriately" targeted ad. the next stage of that "targeting" is by race.

so for instance, my husband (white, adult male) would get ads for things like mayonaise, dockers, jobs, radiohead concerts, rental properties in the hamptons, and kate hudson. i, however, (asian, adult female) would get ads for things like ramen, christianity, lusty old men, ESL classes, cleaning products, hello kitty purses, and nail salon equipment.

i should stop there....but here's a link to the nytimes.com article about it [Link]

trying too hard?

this for the kids that think cd's are older than dirt:

sad money makes wisconsin man happy

from startribune.com: a milwaukee man was made whole when he discovered a box of depression-era money while tearing down a 100 yr old shed. its estimated the money is approximately 40 years old (the new 30!) and is seriously deteriorated (as, many 40 year olds are). currently, a piece of paper from the box is telling the man that there's about $1,700, which the U.S. treasury will give him face value for.