why the things offend you shows how stupid and unaware you are...

so, i'm not making a complete generality about being offended by anything shows how stupid you are, but i do feel like the large groups of people being offended by the american media has rrreally become white noise. if you qualify as one of the offended let me try to help you move on with your pathetic life.

• equal opportunity minorities on tv: we all want advertising to show us. people that look like us. shit, they should just put me in ads. and why doesn't mercedes want to advertise to me and my asian brothers, especially when asian's consider mercedes to be the "it" car when they make it on their own (a la mary tyler moore)? to be honest, it's because we make up less than 5%of the u.s. population. so, if we need the world to be fair, 5% of media should have asians somewhere in it. trailers for harold & kumar movies have helped meet that quota already. good work, kal pen (who has helped asian america exceed quota by having a permanent role on 'House').
• women doing "women things": what seems to offend women is when you market to them about tampons, cleaning products and jewelry. let's think really hard about this one. first, tampons. exhibit a: it's really hard to market tampons to men. exhibit b: there's no "hip" way to talk about menstruation. if you really wanted advertising to keep it real when they talk about tampons, they could just run that one scene from "The Shining" on a loop. you know the one. second, cleaning products. keeping it real, of the boyfriends i've had in my life, 99% (of the one hundred boyfriend's i've had) do not care if their shoes/clothes stink, if their face shavings coat the bathroom sink like a 3" layer of snow, if they've run out of dishes, if their milk is expired, stray pubes fly like tumble weed in the bathroom, the toilet seat and floor around it were not originally yellow, or if the pizza they ordered 3 weeks ago that's sitting on the coffee table has turned black. and i think it's perfectly fine that those things don't bother them. it does bother me, so tell me what i need to do to get rid of the pee, fur, and stink and i'll do it. i love my hub, and i love him how he is. he helps me with housework, but he could really care less if he has to clean the inside of the toilet with the magic eraser or a toilet brush. and finally, jewelry. i'm not a fan of wearing much jewelry, i admit. but i know a lot of women who LOVE jewelry. part of it could be that they didn't grow up with much and it's their way of feeling special and important. part of it could be that they like shiny things. when you take things to extremes, no, it's probably not healthy if your self-esteem is based on how many karats you're wearing. but, if it makes my mom feel like she really means a lot to us when we buy her a white gold locket, it's a small price to pay, really. and i don't see much wrong with that.
• men are stupid: does the tv tell you you're stupid? BAD TV! ok, seriously, you need to get a pair. so, men want to be offended that ads show them either fucking up a home improvement project or being over enthusiastic about sports. who cares? does another ad show you sleep with chicago bears face paint and pajamas on? who cares? men, do you think that falling off a ladder or cheering for your sports make you stupid? or, more importantly, do you think that if an ad tells you that you're stupid for falling off a ladder or cheering for your team makes you stupid? i've fallen off plenty ladders, and i feel just smart enough. :) get over it. don't take it personally. and if a woman wants to tell you that it was stupid to get depressed about your winless detroit lions, remind her of the season finale of 'grey's' that had her locked up in her room for 3 days. that'll show her.

so, before you email SC Johnson, Home Depot, or Lady Remington about how offended you are that they want to assume that you're clean, don't know how to build that second story to your house, or like having smooth legs, think about getting over it, because they might not be all wrong. even if they are, who cares? the people that work in advertising are idiots anyways and that's not gonna stop me from shaving my armpits.

side note: i did have to stop watching 'i now pronounce you chuck and larry' for the moronic, mr. yunioshi impersonation by rob schneider. i do get offended and i certainly have limits. i'll probably revisit this again another day.